I had a fabulous conversation with a single female coworker this past week. We were heading to a restaurant/bar after work for a meeting. It went something like this:
Me: I am seeing this boy and want to ask him to come over here later and meet up with us. Is that weird? What should I say?
Her: ummm no that’s good. Let’s see – say something and make sure it seems really casual. Like hey I am just over this way for work if you want to stop by.
Me: Are you sure? That’s not too weird?
Her: Yeah. But only send it if you can accept that you may get a no. It’s already almost 7 so is unreasonable to count on a yes.
Me: Okay. So tell me what to write exactly.
Her: Um. I don’t know. I can’t remember the last time I had a boyfriend. Maybe you should wait and ask one of the guys.
Which is exactly what I did. Waited until one of the guys met us at the restaurant and crafted the following: I ended up at Bar XXXX for some work stuff – if you’re in the neighborhood you should stop by
All that mental energy for one text. Which is completely ridiculous! And I realize this but can’t seem to help myself. I am an epic fail at feigned casualness. He ended up not able to come but I did get to hang out with him the next night. At which time he met a couple of my work colleagues who immediately after introducing themselves congratulated him. Classy.
I guess this is really just part 2 of the previous post on all the reasons why I stink at dating. Actually I could probably come up with a pretty good list. A couple that I know off hand:
I talk a lot, especially when I am nervous and tend to monopolize the conversation
I like to tell stories about my cats
I pick outfits based almost entirely on comfort
I show pictures of my cats
I’m terrible with pop culture references
I offer to give the person a cat from my backyard
I have no poker face
I can’t cook so if I want to make someone dinner we are having spaghetti
There’s nothing really to be done though. I am exactly who I am. I have friends, people who like me. Definitely not ‘cool’ but never really have been. More of a nerdy type. I’m not going to fake it to manipulate you into liking someone who isn’t real. So I am going to continue to overthink. And be my same bad self. And by bad I mean super rule follower goody two shoes nerd.