I like organization and planning. Every year for Christmas at least one if not several people buy me post-it notes or some other office supply. In the past, when I was in a relationship with someone, I would try to get them to have a shared calendar – that way we would both know where the other person was, what they had coming up, etc. Every time though I always ended up being the only person who looked at and updated the calendar thus defeating the whole purpose. I was the one who needed to keep track of things and was responsible for making sure the other person knew where and when they should be places. That’s never what I wanted. I wanted someone who wanted to share in planning and looked forward to upcoming events together. I wasn’t looking for someone else to take care of, falling into the role of personal assistant more than girlfriend.
So now I have a relatively new boyfriend and again broached the subject of a shared calendar. It’s 2013 so this one is electronic and syncs with our respective gmail accounts. I posted lots on it initially – upcoming weekend plans and our weekly volleyball game – and then hadn’t looked at it in awhile. I was checking something recently when I noticed an addition. The BF is going away for the weekend soon and posted his travel dates to the calendar. He also labeled the day we plan to celebrate my birthday as ‘discothèque’ in reference to my desire to go out dancing.
Just thinking about him taking the time to post those two items almost makes me cry. Which is ridiculous I know but what can I say, I am a total girl on this. The tears are cathartic. I have been waiting for this for a long time. Waiting for an equal partner who shares responsibility and seeks to communicate and is as excited to spend time with me as I am with him.
The cheerleaders I coach have all met the boyfriend. The other day one of them was lamenting her boy troubles to me and made the comment that she needs someone just like my boyfriend – and I agree. Each of us deserve someone who is equal parts willing to take care of us and who lets us care for them in return, a true partnership. I hope we love ourselves enough to refuse to settle. Wait for the one who will keep a calendar with you…or whatever quirky metric you have :)